Home Blog Page 13

Why Good Character is Important

A person’s character is who they really are. Character is the springboard from which all we do and say in life comes. Your character is the real you in the sense that you cannot separate what you are from who you are. Our character is what determines how we respond to the situations and circumstances of life.

Character is so important to us that we even recognize it as one of the principal requirements of someone in good mental health. It is said that our character is much more than just our reputation. Our character shows how we are physically, spiritually and mentally. Our character produces a sound mind, respect and loyalty. A person of good character shows that they are able to be aware of the world and their experiences, to think and feel the faculty of consciousness and thought. Good character enables us to change the way we use our mind. A person of good character exercises self-control which enables them to choose to do the right thing. People of good character don’t use other people.

When we grow stronger in our character development, it will lead to us doing good, respecting others and avoiding any act of evil. That is to say that good character will prevent us from doing what will bring shame, a bad name or disgrace to ourselves. God created us with good character which enables us to love Him and love our neighbours as ourselves. Someone without good mental health cannot exhibit good character. Good character is not just something we put into our lives, but it is what comes out of our lives. Good character is who you are to God Himself and those around you. It is the real you. Good character is aligning our lives so our behavior is Christ-like.

The focus of Omoluabi is to help us to understand what good character traits are and the process of building good character in the lives of our children, which is most important in our community today. Building and developing good character is not something we just learn from a book or hear from good speakers. It does not come upon us overnight; It does not come automatically or suddenly. It is a process that comes from good parenting. That is why the Bible says, “Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it.” It is a slow process listening to good parenting advice. Strong and good character is a process that is formed in our children. Good character is not permanent once it is formed but is a continual building process.

John F. Sullivan Relationship Coaching Clinic

On September 15, 2018, John F. Sullivan gave attendees of Windsor’s WaterWorld, a preview of his book, “Dream Relationships: How to Make the Most of Available Tools for Your Happily Ever After.”

As an author and marriage and relationship coach, Sullivan wants to provide you with the tools needed to have a successful relationship. He emphasizes being ready for when conflict arises. That way when things are not running smoothly, you have the tools in your proverbial toolbox waiting for when you need them.

During the two hour session, Sullivan went over the various concepts included in his book. One of the key components of the book is being aware of the conscious mind and the dynamics of a relationship. There are unconscious triggers that we react to and we need to become more conscious of these triggers in order to have successful relationships. When we become conscious of our own triggers and those closest to us, we can learn to deal with them, instead of simply reacting to them.

Drawing on his own personal experiences, he is able to easily relate examples to the audience and make his advice simple to understand. The audience was very engaged and had the opportunity to ask many questions, making the event more personal and almost like a group session, rather than a presentation.

For those in the community interested in seeking Sullivan’s counselling, “A Sound Mind”, parenting group, can arrange counselling sessions free of charge

Throwback : Issue 5

3,454

Volume 1, Issue 5
Spring/Summer 2005

African Proverb

991

The naked truth is always better than a best-dressed lie

Otito (Truth)

3,878

Let us be truth
As we thread our lives through the eye of reality
May we be wise and open minded
Mindfully reminded
That our time is short
And our battle is long
Our faith is resilient, but temptation is strong
May we speak with a kind and honest tongue
Shine our truth like the light from a fiery sun
Be more mighty than the sword
Allow our peace to release the divinity of our core
Be more than an underestimation
Climb to the summit of a moral mountain top
Be amazing
Put out age old fires with a new cool perspective
Inject truth and love into the eye of a spreading infection
That feeds on hate and lies
Truth is the fruit
Given to you
To feed the stillness in all that you do
Your wildest dreams are searching for you
But your truth is the key to set yourself free
A path forged in your bones since Adam and Eve
Godliness is your destiny
It is the promise that’s been scripted within your eyes
The path that will lead you throughout our life
In the darkest corner of your trying times
Truth will lead you to the light
So, let us be truth
As we thread our lives through the eye of reality
May we be wise and open minded
Mindfully reminded
That our time is short
And our battle is long
Our faith is resilient but temptation is strong
May we speak with a kind and honest tongue
Shine our truth like the light from a fiery sun

Detecting Truth

In our daily life, seeking and telling the truth is paramount, however, everyday practice tends to show the opposite. These days, it becomes more and more difficult to know if the news that we listen to on television, on the radio or on our smartphones is telling the truth. This is particularly due to the media and social networks that often give so much wrong information, that we do not know what to believe. Therefore, it’s our responsibility to make use of tools that are within our reach such as the internet or books to detect the truth.

By trusting information obtained from a source whose reliability has not been verified, we risk sharing false information with those around us. This will only help spread the misinformation. However, many people prefer beautiful lies to ugly truth, especially in this world in which new problems and conflicts emerge each day. That means they prefer to believe the lies they hear on the news instead of seeking the truth. These people must realize that they will face the truth one day and that expanding the lie will only make the shock of the truth even stronger.

The truth is not only exaggerated in social media, it is also in families and communities where people lie more often. It is important, however, to always tell the truth to our loved ones and those around us. Lying never leads to anything good because the truth always ends up surfacing and there will be consequences. These consequences are that upon learning one has been deceived, the person to whom the lie has been said will lose all confidence in that loved one whom they thought they knew and trusted the most.

Lying can destroy an established relationship with a loved one or co-worker. To tell the truth is proof of honesty in a person. Honesty is a virtue found in a sincere and trustworthy person. By telling the truth we set an example that others can follow while presenting themselves as a reliable person.

Why People Lie

Telling the truth is a crucial essential in creating or keeping healthy relationships. It can help with unsettled issues-finding forgiveness in our hearts, and sometimes creating new or deepening and discovering new friendships

Why do some people choose to lie? Well, it’s clear that to be able to tell the truth to others, you must first be able to tell yourself the truth. If you can’t do that, then you can’t trust anyone, so you are going to tell lies all the time. Once you are not able to tell yourself the truth, how will you be able to look and communicate positively and in a productive manner? Well, let me take you on an adventure on how lying begins, and how and why you will be able to overcome it, whether you are big or small!

First things first, why do people lie? Well, lies comes from fear and that fear develops over the years, especially if you have nobody to be there and guide you in the right direction. Mostly it starts from little problems. Usually, the first lie starts when we lie to ourselves. We avoid the truth because we are terrified of how it will make us feel around others. We decide to do this instead because we think that we would rather live with that lie than the truth. We try so hard to suppress it until someone finds out.

People think they lie to avoid hurting people’s feelings, but it leads us to lie to protect ourselves instead. Think this through, who are we really helping here with our selfish actions, them or you?

Did you know that it takes more energy and will power to lie than to tell the truth? Considering this information, why waste your energy on lying instead of quickly telling the truth and getting over it? Sadly this is what some people find the hardest to do.

I’m telling you first hand I know what that’s like, but trust me if you listen and try your hardest you can and will accomplish things and that is how everyone should live. My dear friends let me assure you that this indeed is the “TRUTH”.

Ask the Elders: Issue 5

1.  What message do you want to pass on to your children and grandchildren?

That they should have a close relationship with God. Put God first in your life and everything else will come after. Always help people and God will bless you.

2.  Who is the person who influenced your life the most?

God, first, always. Other than God, I have a very close friend from church who always gives me advice and helps me to be a better person. She always does good and teaches me how not to be angry. She has positively influenced me and taught me to be good no matter what.

*Questions by Laabo Afolabi and
answers by Mrs. Elizabeth Achirimb

Truth and the Law

“Otito” is a Yoruba word meaning truth. It is also an Omoluabi principal. Truth is a universal virtue that has been sought and pursued throughout all cultures at all times. There is no one who values lies over truth.

You will never find a culture that prefers deception over honesty. Among certain groups however, there is a growing movement away from truth. It is being argued that truth is not universal and absolute. Some put forth the idea that truth cannot be known by anyone, while not questioning whether or not that statement itself can be true.

Truthfulness is a character trait that is universally respected in individuals. It is sought in ideas and philosophies and it is an integral ingredient in the makeup of an Omoluabi. Just as truth is essential to an Omoluabi, it is equally vital in the profession of law.

The court system is tasked with being the main vehicle of truth finding. This is most commonly accomplished through the adversarial trial process. Various parties present their witnesses and the witnesses are then subject to cross-examination from opposing lawyers. The theory is that upon being questioned vigorously, lies and deception will be exposed and the truth will prevail. As John Henry Wigmore opined “cross examination is the greatest legal engine ever invented for the discovery of truth”.

Not only does the court system have an obligation to truth, lawyers, despite how they are portrayed, also have an obligation to pursue and uphold the truth. Lawyers have the highest ethical standard and responsibilities with regard to presenting evidence in this mission. Lawyers are not to present evidence known to be false or permitted to deceive or mislead the courts. When all participants work together in this task, the court system functions exceptionally well; truth is separated from lies, and justice is carried out.

Black History: Otito -Truth

“Honour belongs to those who never forsake the truth, even when things seem dark and grim, who try over and over again, who are never discouraged by insults, humiliation and even defeat.”
– Nelson Mandela

“The way to right wrongs is to turn the light of truth upon them.” – Ida B. Wells

“One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised.”
– Chinua Achebe

Not only in Yoruba culture but in many cultures, honesty is viewed as an important trait. Truthfulness is one of the purest expressions of character. In life, we tend to respect individuals who demonstrate integrity-people with whom we feel capable of establishing trust. In the workplace, the average employer would agree that honesty, plus closely related attributes such as accountability and reliability, should be ranked among the most highly valued employability skills.

However, it is also true that it takes courage to tell the truth when society demands your silence. It takes conviction to say the things that nobody wants to hear, despite pressure to remain quiet.

Throughout the African Diaspora, generations of freedom fighters have relied on the truth as their weapon of choice, whether speaking about the greed and brutality of colonial powers, the cruelty of slavery, the epidemic of lynching, or conditions of inequality in the modern era.

In our time, how many of us possess the determination of Colin Kaepernick, for whom standing up for the truth has meant kneeling down on the football field to bring attention to systemic injustice against people of African descent? How many of us would willingly sacrifice our careers and incomes to take such a stand?

How many of us are as determined as Marielle Franco, the Afro-Brazilian politician who risked (and ultimately lost) her life by speaking candidly about police brutality and poverty?

How many of us are as committed as the dissidents around the world, not only in the past but today, who have refused to remain silent about environmental injustice, political corruption, or the oppression faced by minority groups, despite the threat of imprisonment or worse?
How many of us are as courageous as the truth-tellers and whistle-blowers of the #metoo movement—women and sometimes men who have come forward to share their painful stories of abuse and harassment in order to prevent others from having to experience the same things? Frequently, after years of silence, the victims have been re-victimized by the public. In reality, many people who claim to value honesty only value honesty when it does not disturb the status quo.

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter”, said Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.—a great man whose relentless truth-telling ultimately cost him his life. Fortunately, most of us will never face that kind of pressure. When you see something happening in your school or your workplace that doesn’t seem right, state your concerns. If you witness someone being bullied, say something. If you are aware of injustice, you have the right (and the responsibility) not to remain silent.

Honesty is a highly valued trait, but even when society demands your silence, don’t give in. If you want to make the world better, find the courage to “speak the truth, even if your voice shakes” (author unknown.)